Although this holiday season should be filled with joy and happiness, that’s not always the case. Coordinating plans, events, parties and figuring out whose parents you’ll be visiting this year can all lead to stress. Pamela J. Ginsberg, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist shares her thoughts and knowledge managing holiday stress.
3 Tips for Managing Holiday Stress
Holiday stress can be overwhelming and debilitating. We are busy with all of our regular busy life stressors, and then add a very large burden of social requests, requests for contributions of money, time, and food, and our own expectations for making the holiday special each year for family and friends. People are stressed all the time, and the holiday season often makes things feel impossible.
Here are three basic tips to help:
1) Let go of perfectionism. If all the holiday decorations, presents, cookies, outfits, and responsibilities must be done perfectly, you are in trouble. Perfectionism breeds anxiety and shame. We connect more to those who are not perfect, because we relate more to those who show their vulnerability and imperfections. Perfect is impossible. Shoot for happy and meaningful instead.
2) Make choices. Learn to say “no” to things. This is very difficult for women especially, because we feel that we are disappointing people when we say “no.” But when you make thoughtful choices about what you WANT to do and what you don’t want to do, you can then participate in activities and gatherings that are meaningful to you and bring you joy, rather than those that just bring you more stress and discomfort. You have the right to choose.
3) Take time to remember those who are not with you. The holidays can be a particularly stressful time when you have lost someone that you love. Create a ritual to remember your loved one, that can be repeated each year. Light a candle, hang an ornament, or place flowers or a wreath for that person. By taking the time to do this activity, you bring your loved one into the holiday and give them a dedicated moment to remember or pray, and then you can move on with your day with a sense of a burden lifted.
Remember to take a moment to look around, be grateful for all your blessings, and enjoy this special time of the year.
Happy Holidays!
